It is sometimes confusing being a Scoutmaster of adolescents. At one
camporee several years ago, we were not well prepared. The forecast was
for rain to come through our area, but no one was ready for the sudden
drop in temperature that night.
Saturday morning came all too early and none of the boys would get out
of their tents.
I tried everything to get them out. Finally, with desperation, I
shouted, "Boys you got to see this! A lady is jogging down the trail with
no clothes on!" Without hesitation, one of the boys responded, "Mr.
(Jake), we're not into that yet."

Jake Lekan

In 1991, a group from our troop went on a Sea Exploring Adventure at the Florida Sea Base. Our trip wound up being covered in the May-June 1993 issue of "Scouting" magazine...we even got the cover photo. One of the things mentioned in the article was an account of climbing to the top of the Coast Guard Lighthouse on the Dry Tortugas. The story mentioned a comment by me, supposedly made while at the top of the Lighhouse, "This ain't Georgetown, Texas, said an awed Calvin Gray." Well, I didn't visit the Lighthouse but the quote was correct as I did say this when I saw a pair of guys walking down the street in Key West holding hands. The writer got the right quote...he just used a little literary license to place it in a different context.

During our Bahamas Sailing Adventure (arranged through the Florida Sea Base) in 1994, one of our adult advisors slipped on the anchor rope and hurt her head...at 4:05 a.m. on morning. After reviving her, we thought she was o.k. but the Sea Base wanted to make sure so she was transported to a clinic in Marsh Harbour for a x-ray. When she returned, she told us the first x-ray of her head turned out blank. This was all she had to say. My reply was, "Well?" To this day, she still hears about the x-ray that merely confirmed what we already knew...that we had one "empty-headed" lady among our troop leadership.

During the first day of our 1992 canoeing trip at the Charles L. Sommers Base, we met a couple of guys returning from a fishing trip. They had been using leaches for bait and had quite a few of these slimy creatures left over. Well, one of our adult advisors was able to procure the leaches at no cost and carried them throughout the trip in one of his water bottles. He was very careful to keep up with the leaches and change the water every now and then to keep them alive. I'm not aware that we caught any fish with the leaches as the BWCAW had experienced an early Mayfly season and the fish were not hungry. But it was fun watching the advisor take care of them. No, he never did mess up and drink from his leach infested water bottle.

Calvin H. Gray
Scoutmaster, Troop 405
Georgetown, Texas

Dear Scouters,
Here is another chapter to "Linda Clossen, Scoutmaster to Disaster."
Left for Camp Owasippe, in Muskegon Michigan last Sunday, July 27th, excited to be going to camp and exploring a new horizon! It was SUMMER CAMP!!!!
Came home Saturday, August 2, with 6 seriously ill Scouts, and myself weighing 18 pounds less!
What a thrill!
During the week, an unknown illness swept through Camp Blackhawk, Owasippe Scout Reservation and as of today, over 200 Scouts and their leaders have been afflicted!
No one knows what it is, where it came from or how we all got it!
I am now thinking of this last chapter as the ultimate high adventure of my life time! As I was hurling my cookies in the dirt next to a fellow female Scoutmaster from another troop and squeezing my bottom tier of cheeks so that I wouldn't squirt from the other end, I realized that maybe I was a true Scout.
Who else but a Scoutmaster would welcome such a challenge?? Could we get to the latrine before the eruption? Would there already be a line of little stomach clutching, moaning Scouts ahead of us? Or, the ultimate, would it be male leader time in the KYBO and we would have to wait until our assigned KYBO time to hurl those chunks???
Thank goodness for "Saint" Eugene Fowler of Troop 244, Grand Rapids, Michigan. I want him to be my mother for the rest of my life. He stayed awake nearly 24 hours a day for 6 days, wiping heads, noses, butts, and anything else he could find! He scooped more poop that a horse farmer.
Needless to say, after 6 days, the health department and the State of Michigan have come up with nothing. They tested the food, the water, the people, body fluid and chunk samples they whole thing. Could not pin point anything. Today, a reporter got wind of it and came to interview Scoutmaster Ainsworth, St. Eugene and myself. Maybe they can help get to the bottom of this. Tonight at six, we were the lead story. What a joy. After all the great things I said about Scouting and the camp they only thing they have me edited down to is "I went to Boy Scout camp had diarrhea and lost 18 pounds1" I sound like a bad Richard Simmons diet commercial!
The staff of Camp Owasippe were true gems. They helped us treat the symptoms of the moaning wounded. What a week for these dedicated Scouters. I sure appreciate every effort that they made.
As of this morning, all the Scouts in both of our troops, (22 Scouts + 3 leaders) are up and walking carefully with their ice chips and clear liquids in one hand, barf bucket in the other.

Scoutmaster, Linda K. Clossen
Troop 135
Gerald R. Ford Council
Grand Rapids, Michigan
...I used to be sane...

My wife surprised me with a new pair of hiking boots on my birthday. They where the exact pair of boots I was thinking about buying myself, so I asked, "How did you know which pair to get me?" My wife said "I just asked a 12 year old boy in the store which pair of boots he owned and that's the pair I knew you would buy". Sometimes I think a husband and wife can know just a little to much about each other.

Barry Runnels
"Mighty" Pack 339
Edmond OK

After the Pack Meeting, a Cub Scout walked up to the Cub Master and said to him "When I grow up, I want to be a Cub Master just like you, so could you please do a better job".